Dealing with Life's Challenges
26 April, 1998
INTRODUCTION:
Things certainly do not always turn like you plan. A man by the name of Phil Cozzolino can testify to that. His story appears in an issue of the Reader's Digest. When he was going to Glassboro State College in New Jersey, he had an experience that was a real let down. Between classes one day, he was desperately searching for a dryer to finish his laundry. There was one machine that had stopped but was still full of clothes, so he took the clothes out the dryer, which obviously belonged to a female and carefully folded them.
Seeing a chance to meet someone new, he added one of her still-damp sweatshirts to his own load of laundry. Then he left a note saying she could pick the shirt up at his apartment - No. 68 - and suggested that they might go to a movie or dancing.
After class, he found a message on the empty dryer: "Dear No. 68 - My girlfriend appreciates your help. If you'd like your clothes, you can pick them up at my apartment - No. 32."
Things certainly do not always turn out like you plan! I think Jacob would agree to that as well. Jacob had come to real turning point in his life when he met God on his way to Haran. His encounter with God was certainly a life changing experience. It was there that he had come to terms with the fact that God had a plan for his life and it was there that he made a very significant vow to God. His life had been changed. He was a new man. And now, even though he is still trying to elude his brother, he continues with his journey to Haran to stay with his mother's brother - Uncle Laban. It seemed like things were really looking up for him. But things certainly do not always turn our like we plan. During the time that he lived with his Uncle, Jacob was faced with a number of challenges. A raw deal and two wives. And the way he responds to the challenges he faces makes you wonder if this is the same Jacob we have already been introduced to.
I think we can learn a few lessons from Jacob at this point in his life as to how we should respond to the challenges that life throws at us when things do not turn out like we plan. Things certainly do not always turn out like we plan, but it is so important that we respond to those challenges as I see Jacob doing.
Our first response should be to....
1. ACCEPT LIFE'S CHALLENGES IN LIGHT OF GOD'S PROVIDENTIAL PLAN
God had spoken very clearly to Jacob when he was at that place that he named Bethel: "Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have spoken to you."
As Jacob is facing the challenges that are before, he had to have remembered those words. For a while it appeared as though things were looking up for him. He had met the woman of his dreams. It was obviously love at first sight (29:6- 11). Her beauty had captivated him. And it looks like he is facing a bright future ahead of him with Rachael as his wife. And then all of sudden things go wrong. All of a sudden, things are not turning out like he had hoped and planned. And I cannot help but believe that he accepted this challenge in light of God's word to him - in light of the fact that God had promised to guide him and watch over him and never leave him. He had to have remembered the word that God spoke to him which must have given him the faith to believe that God was in charge of the affairs of his life and that he was where he was according to God's providential plan.
I do not know to what extent God orchestrated the events in Jacob's life under the circumstances of him marrying Rachael and her sister, Leah. God certainly never ordained polygamy. It was never His intention for a man to have more than one wife. So to say that God was leading Jacob to marry Rachel while he was already married to Leah may not be a correct assumption. But certainly everything that was happening to Jacob somehow fit into God's plan for his life. Certainly God was using these circumstances to mold this man who was to be a significant individual in the life of God's people.
We have to believe that what we experience in life does in fact fit in to God' providential plan for our life. That even though we are faced with adverse circumstances, that God allows them to do His work in our lives. When you consider the outcome of the challenges we face in life, you can see how God allows us to go through some of the stuff we go through. When you consider that problems and adversity...
Malcolm Muggeridge who was a leading Christian apologist of the 20th century once said,
"Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that at the time seemed especially desolating and painful with particular satisfaction. Indeed, I can say with complete truthfulness that everything I have learned in my 75 years in this world, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my experience, has been through affliction and not through happiness."
Maybe Jacob could have made the same declaration. And maybe if we would accept our challenges in light of God's providential plan, maybe we could say the same thing.
Another reponse to the challenges of life is to.....
2. AVOID IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR IN RESPONSE TO LIFE'S CHALLENGES - 29:21-25
The way a person responds to the challenges of life will make a difference in how that person deals with the situation. You have to admit that Jacob kept his head pretty well under the circumstances. He certainly handled things better than his brother Esau had.
Jacob had made a deal with Laban to work for him for seven years for Rachael's hand in marriage but Uncle Laban takes advantage of him by tricking him into marrying his younger daughter Leah. And Jacob did what any normal man would do in these circumstances - he confronts his uncle about what he had done but he is very rational about it. He asked the question that any normal person would ask: "What is this you have done? Why have you deceived me?" Jacob could have really lost his cool. He could have really flown off the handle. He could have made up his mind that he would just kill Laban like Esau had planned to kill Jacob. He could have done a lot of things that he didn't do. And I believe that it is because he kept his head. A lot of it had to do with the sincere love he had for Rachael. But maybe there was more to it than that.
I am reminded of the word that the Apostle Paul gave to young Timothy as recorded in 2 Timothy 4:5 "But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry." The word Paul uses for keep your head is translated in the KJV as "be watchful" and literally means "to be sober, to be in a vigilant, wakeful, considerate frame of mind taking good heed to what is proceeding around you and pursuing its course with calm and steady aim."
That is kind of what I see Jacob doing here. Yes, he does make up his mind that he wants to marry Rachael even though he has already consummated the relationship with Leah. But aside from that, Jacob seems to be handling the situation pretty well.
It is usually when we become irrational over a situation that we make matters worse. Again, think back to the situation when Jacob deceived his brother Esau and stole the blessing. Esau became very irrational by conspiring to get even. Things often happen that we cannot change. But if we become irrational in the midst of it all, we can often makes decisions that only compound our problems.
Unlike, his brother Esau, Jacob must have done some serious thinking in the midst of this challenge he was facing. He kept his head and that was to his benefit.
We should also.....
3. ACT RESPONSIBLY IN THE MIDST OF LIFE'S CHALLENGES - 29:28-30
It would have been so easy for Jacob to have taken a real attitude at this point. After all, he had been tricked into taking another woman as his wife.
This deception with Laban not being completely honest with Jacob when he promised him Rachael's hand in marriage. In that culture, it was customary to give the younger daughter in marriage before the first-born. Jacob did not know this and Laban did not tell him. Maybe if Jacob had known this, his proposal might have been different. So Laban was not totally up front with him. And then, when it came time for Jacob to take his bride, Laban gave him his daughter Leah instead. Being that the bridal veil would cover the whole person so that it was impossible to discern the identity of the bride, it would be easy to pull this off. All of this did not set well with Jacob - probably made him a little angry. Probably made him feel like he had been had. Probably made him think he wished he could back out of the deal
But he fulfilled his commitment to Laban - agreeing to fulfill the week of wedding celebration and then working an additional seven years as a dowry for Rachel's hand in marriage.
But he acted responsibly in the midst of this challenging situation. Maybe Jacob thought, for once I am going to do something right.
Maybe your employer is impossible to deal with. Is that an excuse to be irresponsible on the job? Maybe you are not appreciated where you spend those 8 or 9 hours a day at work. Is that any reason to blow it off? Maybe you feel like God has given you more than you can handle. Is that any reason to drop what you know for a God has called you to do?
Let me ask you a few a thought provoking rhetorical questions.
I cannot see where the Bible tells us that our responsibilities are based on our circumstances.
The Apostle Paul could have figured that since he was in jail, he no longer had the responsibility to preaching the gospel or writing to those he had ministered to. Jacob could have figured that since his uncle had deceived him, he no longer needed to keep his word.
What excuses are you using? God has called us to be faithful at what He has called us to do. And, barring circumstances that render incapable or do that, I cannot see where our circumstances should dictate our degree of responsibility.
And finally, we should...
4. ACKNOWLEDGE GOD'S SOVEREIGN DECISIONS IN THE MIDST OF LIFE'S CHALLENGES- 30:1,2
We come now to a ever more complicated chapter in the life of Jacob where, in the midst of all he has already gone through already, he now finds himself in the middle of a jealous rivalry between his two wives. His wife Rachael is barren but, by the hand of God, Leah is not. And so the rivalry turns into an all out struggle between Rachael and Leah and Jacob is caught in the middle. And on top of all this, Rachael tries to blame Jacob for her not having any children. Consider Jacob's response to that accusation (see 30:2).
Although he speaks with a certain amount of frustration (and who wouldn't), his words do express a profound understanding that ultimately, it was God's decision to allow Leah to conceive and not Rachael. He doesn't give a reason, but he states a simple fact. He doesn't try to give Rachael some kind of theological explanation as to why God did things the way He did - he simply states that it was out of his hands. Though it is spelled out to us that God acted on Leah's behalf because she had prayed (29:33) and because she was the unloved partner in this triangular relationship, Rachael could not understand why she had been treated this way - she could not understand why God had favored Leah over her - which is a pretty common response. Eventually, Rachael would conceive and give birth to a very significant individual in the history of God's people. But at this point, He chose to keep her from conceiving. In other words, God was calling the shots and things would not happen until it was Him time - which is always perfect.
As difficult as it may be, I guess we eventually have to come to a point of trusting in the decisions that God makes. Why God does this or that is something that we will never know. But one thing for sure - He is God and He certainly has the right to work the way He chooses to work. It may appear that He is being unfair. But it may be that He is simply accomplishing His purpose in His own way.
Make no mistake about it - God does not make mistakes. Everything He does, is for a reason and is according to His divine purposes. We are so good at trying to talk God into doing what we want Him to do. We think God should do this or that. And when He doesn't work the way we think He should work, we get all bent out of shape. And then we try to make it look like it is somebody else's fault.
CONCLUSION:
Sometimes things do not turn out like we plan. All of us, at some point in our lives, will be faced with a disappointment or a turning point in our lives that will challenge us in our faith, our values and maybe even our perspective on life. And I firmly believe that God uses that which we go through to mold and shape us into men and women He wants us to be.
I don't know who wrote this poetic work, but it really speaks to this issue of God being in control the affairs of our lives and all for the purpose of accomplishing His work in us.
When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man,
And skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man
To play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart
To create so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch His methods, watch His ways!
How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try His splendor out--
God knows what He's about.
God was doing a mighty work in the life of Jacob. Every Jacob went through somehow fit into God providential plan for his life. Jacob had to have known that. And the way he responded to those challenges really made a big difference in how he survived. And the same is true with us. God is doing such a work in us. We will never understand how all the pieces fit together. But God knows what He's about. And it is in Him and His sovereignty that we must trust.